Tag Archives: Suicide

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The Grief Recovery Radio Hour

The Grief Recovery Hour Radio Interview

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On the June 13th episode of The Grief Recovery Hour with Sharon Brubaker, Sharon was joined in the KHTS Radio studio by fellow Advanced Grief Recovery Specialist Sharon Ehlers, from Grief Reiki.

Tune in to hear more on Sharon Ehlers’ own losses that led her to seek out different methods of healing. The two Sharons also talk about suicide and the loss of their Dads on this episode of the popular Radio Show.

MORE ABOUT THE HOST

As soon as I completed The Grief Recovery Method®, I knew that my lifelong mission would be to learn everything I could about grief, and make it my life’s work to help others heal from their broken hearts.

I am truly honored to walk through the journey of grief recovery with my clients. At A time to grief, I work with clients to help them understand that unresolved grief is almost always associated with wishing things were better, different or more and that it can have to do with any unfulfilled hopes, dreams and expectations.

I am not only a Certified Grief Recovery Specialist—I am a griever. I teach in my program that grief is a normal and natural reaction to a loss of any kind. Yet, we were never taught how to grieve. Sadly, most of the information we are given immediately following a loss from family or friends is incorrect. It does little or nothing to help us feel better or to begin the healing process. So, we continue to search and search.

MORE ABOUT THE RADIO STATION

KHTS is an AM 1220/FM 98.1 radio station in Santa Clarita, California, about 30 miles north of Los Angeles. It is a full-service station combining news, traffic, sports, and adult contemporary hits by artists such as Elton John, Mariah Carey, Rod Stewart and Whitney Houston.

WATCH FULL INTERVIEW

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Sending you love, comfort and peace!


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Surviving Loss By Suicide

Grief Diaries: Surviving Loss By Suicide

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The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) reported this week that almost forty-five thousand Americans die by suicide every year, with untold more around the world; each one results in a life sentence of heartbreak for family and friends. The survivor’s journey is a tumultuous one that challenges our friendships, our fears, and even our future. Where do we go from here? How do we survive such a devastating, senseless act? While each loss is as unique as one’s own fingerprint, and grief tools aren’t one-size-fits-all, it’s important to know you are not alone. This book is like your own portable support group, open 24/7. It offers an intimate collection of stories by people around the world who have all walked in your shoes. Consider this book one of your bereavement tools, and pull it out whenever you need. For no matter the age, the circumstance, or number of days since your loved one died by suicide, the stories contained within this book offer company, comfort and hope, and are a treasured reminder that none of us walk this journey alone.

BOOK DETAILS

Released in December 2015, Grief Reiki® is a proud co-author to Grief Diaries: Surviving Loss By Suicide

Part of the Grief Diaries series dedicated to offering comfort, company and hope in the aftermath of life’s challenges and losses, Grief Diaries: Surviving Loss by Suicide is a collection of intimate and candid narrations from different writers about their journey through losing a loved one to suicide. In chapter one, each writer bravely penned the moment when their familiar lives disappeared along with their loved one’s last breath. The writers were then presented with intimate questions pertaining to their loss, and their responses are compiled within the individual chapters. These narrations are unabridged, as every voice is unique. But no matter the differences, the stories contained in each Grief Diaries book is a treasured reminder that none of us walk the journey alone. Welcome to the Grief Diaries village, where grief transcends all differences and unites us in the aftermath. Welcome, bereaved friend, to company, comfort and hope.

REVIEWS

“CRITICALLY IMPORTANT . . . I want to say  what you are doing is so critically important.” -DR. BERNICE A. KING, Daughter of Dr. Martin Luther King

“STUNNING . . . Grief Diaries treats the reader to a rare combination of candor and fragility through the eyes of the bereaved. Delving into the deepest recesses of the heartbroken, the reader easily identifies with the diverse collection of stories and richly colored threads of profound love that create a stunning read full of comfort and hope.” -DR. GLORIA HORSLEY, Founder & President of Open to Hope Foundation

“IMPORTANT ON SO MANY LEVELS…Suicide is a topic that isn’t talked about nearly enough in our world today, and it’s one that’s often surrounded by stigma, assumptions, and judgments. This book gives a mere glimpse into what it’s like to not only face the pain of losing a love one to suicide, but how it feels when the bereaved also have to take on the burden of dealing with the stigmas around it. More importantly, this book is a courageous, insightful, and informative collection of personal stories – stories that can teach us so much more, about loss by suicide, than research or advice books ever could. These are real people, real examples, real lives.MOST importantly, this book is a beautiful resource for those grieving a loss by suicide. Simply knowing we aren’t alone in the journey and that others have felt the way we have can bring so much relief. We can find companionship and comfort in those moments where we can read someone else’s words, nod our heads, and say, “wow, that’s exactly how I’m feeling. I’m not alone”. This book is a collection of stories filled with those “yeah, me too” moments.” AMAZON REVIEWER

Download Free Chapter

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Sending you love, comfort and peace!


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Letting Go

Letting Go of “His” Stuff

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As I get older, I have come to realize that much of the stuff I have collected over the years I no longer need.  Letting go of “stuff” can be tough. For me, going from a 5,000 square foot townhouse to living in one bedroom at my parents’ has given me a big push in that direction. Most of what represents my life has been neatly boxed away in a 5X10 storage unit. Photos. Books. Remnants from my childhood. Cherished memories of my children as they were growing up.

I made an agreement with myself to begin to go through this unit and all the stuff.  Box by box. Item by item. In doing so, memories have flooded through me. Granted much of what was in there I didn’t need at all. Those were easy decisions to make. But many of the remaining items were much more difficult. For some, I made the executive decision to donate them.  For others, I asked my children their thoughts. In other cases, I deferred the decision until a later date.

Last weekend, I finally got through all the boxes (but one). I felt accomplished.  So much lighter. And freer.

“HIS” BOX

The very last box was “his”. Our entire relationship condensed into one large plastic tote. I had been through it soon after his suicide in 2012 but hadn’t opened it since. It was time. Time to review. Time to let go.

When I opened the box, I had not remembered how much I had jammed into it. A sweatshirt. Dried flowers. Deflated balloons. Ribbons from presents. Emails. Notes. Letters. Everything meaningful.

But mostly there were cards. Seemed like there were hundreds of them. It was overwhelming. I read each one. Every single one. I forgot how good he has been at picking out cards. They were always so expressive and eloquent.  Not your Hallmark type that rhymed and seemed superficial. But the cards that were descriptive and evoked deep feelings.

I had forgotten how he had signed off  “I love you today, tomorrow and always.”

Even after we had broken up he signed his cards and letters that way.

And he just didn’t sign his name and call it a day. He always wrote something beautiful in each card.

“You mean more to me than I could ever describe.”

“I so appreciate the person you are and what you have brought to my life.”

“I want us to be together forever.”

“You are my best friend.”

I never doubted what he wrote. I knew emotions were hard for him so writing them down was something he didn’t take lightly. He wouldn’t write it if he didn’t feel it. It was a permanent expression for all to see. So many of his emotions he put on paper.  So many. I was deeply touched all over again.

I cried reading though these cards.

MY PRAYERS

I also forgot how many prayers I had written for him.  Yes, prayers.  I had this thing about writing down my prayers, putting them in envelopes and storing them in beautiful boxes.  It was my way of letting them go and not trying to control the outcome which (as a Type A personality) was my usual way of approaching life. I found boxes and boxes of these prayers.  Hundreds and hundreds of envelopes.  All with dates.  Years upon years.

I opened a few of the envelopes after he died and read them out loud to him. I wanted him to know I had always prayed for him, his family and for us.  I shouted them to the heavens while the tears flowed like rivers.  Maybe then he would understand. Maybe then.

Now I just cried at the sheer magnitude of different-sized envelopes filled with prayers, prayers and more prayers.  I sure could be prolific.

“Please help him at work.”

“Please help him and his relationship with his children.”

“Please heal whatever misunderstanding we are experiencing right now.”

“Please help him find peace.”

So many prayers. So much love.

It was heartbreaking to be reminded about how the love poured from our hearts and souls yet we just couldn’t seem to make things work. I guess it’s what happens sometimes.

I always tell people who ask why we broke up that sometimes love isn’t enough.  Sometimes you have to let go even when you don’t want to. For me, letting go of “us” felt like I had died in so many ways. I grieved then and I still grieve now for what might have been.

LETTING GO

While sitting in my storage unit and going through these memories, I knew it was finally time to let go.  Let go of “him.”  Let go of “his” stuff.  Let go of “our” stuff.  Let go of “us.”

So I gave away the Harley Davidson blanket, the sweatshirts and all the mementos.

I threw away the dried flowers, deflated balloons, bows, and ribbons.

I piled the cards, letters, notes, emails and prayers into the shred box.

I closed the door to the storage unit and walked away from what used to be; and what can be no more.

Did my heart feel lighter at that moment?

Not really. Too heartbroken. Too sad.

But I know it’s moving in that direction.

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Sending you love, comfort and peace!


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