Tag Archives: Self-Care

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Self-Care

Why Self-Care Helps With Grief

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Self-care is one of the most important aspects of grieving. Unfortunately this is the last thing you may think about doing. If you are like me, you may end up putting your own self-care on hold because grief has made you physically exhausted. In fact, grief is what is draining your energy. Being physically drained puts you at risk of getting sick or being in an accident. When you are physically healthy, you are better able to deal with the emotions associated with grief. This is why it is important to practice self-care as much as possible so you stay healthy.

Daily Practices

Take caring of yourself isn’t something you do just once in a while. Self-care practices have to occur on a daily basis. The more resilient you are when you are grieving the more you are able to handle its unpredictable ups and downs. The next sections describe some simple daily practices you can do even when you are grieving. These include exercise, healthy eating and the improving sleeping habits .

Exercise

I am grieving and you want me to exercise? Are you crazy? This is probably the last thing you feel like doing. For some of you, exercising is already part of your daily routine. In fact, some of you may even gravitate to over-exercising to avoid dealing with your feelings. Others of you who usually exercise may stop altogether. Neither approach is good. Somehow you have to find a happy medium to keep some form of exercise in your life. This could mean walking around the block once a day. It could mean taking something less aerobic like a yoga class. Paul Denniston created Grief Yoga[1] which combines many forms of yoga to help release grief. I took one of these classes and found it to be a wonderful way to both exercise and work through my grief.

Bottom line, any form exercise is truly vital for your physical and emotional health. If you incorporate all four forms of exercise into a program you can do consistently, that’s even better. If you can at least attempt to tackle balance and stretching exercises when you are grieving, you can find ways to help your body and your mind begin to heal. Remember, if you are unsure about a particular exercise it’s always good to first talk with your doctor.

Healthy Eating

One of the common responses to grief  is related to changes in your appetite. In some cases, you may feel like eating everything in sight. For example, you may not normally eat sweets but after a loss find yourself heading for a big piece of chocolate cake. In other cases, you may not want to eat at all. For example, the very sight of food makes you feel nauseous. Changes in appetite are very common when you are grieving.

So how can you grieve and still find healthy ways to eat? The best approach is low-fat, high-fiber, carbohydrate-rich meals with plenty of fruits and vegetables. They can soothe you without draining your energy and give you the nutrients you need to boost your immune system. It is important to stay away from fatty foods, refined sugar and caffeinated products. These foods intensify the responses to grief like the inability to sleep or concentrate

Improving Sleeping Habits

Sleep can be a huge issue when you are grieving. For me it was insomnia or lack of sleep; you on the other hand may just want to put the covers over your head and sleep forever. Obviously either way is not good. When Joy died I was afraid to close my eyes so I wouldn’t imagine how she died. As a result, I found I wasn’t sleeping much at all in those first few weeks. Once I started sending Reiki to myself before I went to bed, I found I could at least get a few hours of sleep. Not sure why I didn’t start self-Reiki right after Joy’s death instead of waiting. Must have been the effects of dealing with the shock of her death. Everything went out the window when grief came calling. If you can’t sleep when you are grieving, one of the other things you can do for yourself is to rest. I know that sounds easier said than done. If you are like me, you can’t even sleep or think about sleeping. But resting doesn’t have to be done for long periods of time. Sometimes just taking a 5 to 10-minute cat nap can leave you feeling refreshed. If you can’t take a cat nap, just closing your eyes for a few minutes can help you to feel better.

As Mandy Hale says “It’s not selfish to love yourself, take care of yourself, and to make your happiness a priority. It’s necessary.”

[1] griefyoga.com

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Excerpt from Grief Reiki – An Integrated Approach to the Emotional, Physical and Spiritual Components of Grief and Loss, Chapter 9, Self-Care.

Now Available on AmazonKindle and Barnes and Noble.

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Sending you love, comfort and peace!

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Walking The Labyrinth

Labyrinth Walking When Grieving

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I had never heard about labyrinth walking until a few years ago when I saw a “Walking The Labyrinth” course listed at a local retreat center. Being mostly curious I signed up. What I learned about was something I never knew existed. Walking a labyrinth as another form of meditation.

WHAT IS A LABYRINTH?

A labyrinth is better known as a maze. They go back as far as Greek mythology. Over time they became very popular. During medieval times, they were made of intricate stone designs on the floors of Gothic Cathedrals. Some of the most famous labyrinths are found Chartres, Reims and Amiens in northern France. It is said pilgrims would follow the path of the labyrinth to simulate a pilgrimage to the Holy Land. During their walk they would meditate and pray. This walk replaced an actual visit to the Holy Land which they usually could not afford. Walking the labyrinth as a spiritual practice eventually faded away.

By the time of Renaissance, labyrinths had evolved into elaborate garden mazes; more for pleasure than for spiritual growth. Labyrinth walking as a form of meditation disappeared for over 250 years. In the 1990s, Lauren Artress reintroduced the practice to the United States after walking the labyrinth at Chartres Cathedral.[1] Now there are over 5000 labyrinths in eighty different countries. In fact many of them can be found here in the United States.[2] You may be surprised to find one not very far from you. If you do, take the time to plan a visit.

HOW DOES LABYRINTH WALKING HELP WITH GRIEF?

So you may be wondering why I’ve even brought this up. It’s important for a griever to find activities that are peaceful and calming. Walking a labyrinth does exactly that. It gives you time to meditate, pray, or zone out completely. There is no right or wrong way to do it.

You can ask a question before entering the labyrinth (anticipating an answer before you leave it) or you can just walk to decompress and relax. Labyrinths can be found inside or outside. Those that are outside are usually in gardens. What better setting to relax than outside in a beautiful garden? In doing my first labyrinth walk I was surprised how refreshed and peaceful I felt.

As St. Augustine once said, “It is solved by the walking.” He wasn’t kidding.

[1] veriditas.org/aboutlabyrinth

[2] labyrinthlocator.com

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Excerpt from Grief Reiki – An Integrated Approach to the Emotional, Physical and Spiritual Components of Grief and Loss, Chapter 14, Spiritual Tools.

Now Available on AmazonKindle and Barnes and Noble.

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Sending you love, comfort and peace!

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Self-Reiki When Grieving

Practicing Self-Reiki When You Are Grieving

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Practicing self-Reiki really helped me when I was grieving the deaths of my loved ones.  I truly believe it really helped to keep me in better health during those times . Do I have any way to scientifically prove it? Not really other than I felt calmer, slept better and didn’t get sick during those two very difficult periods in my life. Maybe that is proof enough self-Reiki worked for me.

SELF-REIKI AT HOME

So how did I do it? First of all, I got myself into a routine. Having a routine made it second nature. I didn’t have to make myself remember. It just happened. This makes it a no-brainer when you are grieving and can barely remember what day it is. I just made sure I practiced self-Reiki every morning when I was in the shower. It only took 5 – 10 minutes. I used one particular symbol and drew it in the air from my head to my feet. I then drew the symbol to cover my whole body. I finished up by giving thanks for the beautiful day ahead. Over time, it became a matter of habit. This helped me to start my days in a better place both emotionally and physically.

SELF-REIKI AT WORK

Once I got to work however, it became another story. I don’t know about you but it is really tough to work when you are grieving. I couldn’t focus. I couldn’t concentrate. I felt like crying for no reason. I also seemed to be on a very short fuse. Most employers don’t give much bereavement time. In fact, if it’s a friend who has died, you really don’t get any bereavement time at all. So I went to work and tried to get through the day but the grief was always with me.

During those moments when it hit the hardest, I would go into my office and close the door. I would place my right hand over my heart and my left hand over my stomach. I would take a few deep breaths. I would send myself Reiki to stay calm and balanced. If I couldn’t escape completely, I would at least try to walk outside for 5 minutes. Just being in the fresh air can relax and rejuvenate you. Both of these techniques kept me from falling apart at work when I couldn’t get through the day.

Again, practicing self-Reiki didn’t take all my sadness away when I was grieving but it did help me find a place of peace within myself. This place of peace helped me to move forward on my grief journey one step-at-a-time.

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Sending you love, comfort and peace!


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