Tag Archives: Reiki

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Feeling Awful

Feeling Awful When Grieving

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Feeling awful when you are grieving is perfectly normal. Since every relationship is unique, how a person grieves is unique to that relationship. If feeling awful is your thing, then you are right on track. Other normal reactions can include everything from feeling numb to wanting to eat everything in sight to not wanting to eat at all.

I remember when my best friend died I felt like I was in a fog for days. I sat at work (I am still not sure how I got there) and just stared at the computer. I couldn’t sleep without thinking about her.  I couldn’t hear a song on the radio without crying. Even worse because she died by suicide, most people avoided me or wouldn’t talk to me at all. This resulting in me putting up walls and isolating myself even more. Eventually I just plastered on my “happy face” and told everyone I was “fine”.

MISINFORMATION

Now that I am a Certified Grief Recovery Specialist®, I realize my feelings were no different than what most grievers experience. Historically society has told us how we should or shouldn’t be feeling after any loss. It got passed down from generation to generation. As a result, well-meaning friends and relatives say things like “They are in a better place” or “Eat some more ice cream and you’ll feel better” after a death of someone close to you. Maybe some of you have even heard after the break-up of a relationship “We never liked them anyway” or “It’s ok, it just wasn’t meant to be”.

The problem is we are taught to intellectualize grief when really it is really a matter of the heart. Since most people aren’t given the necessary “heart tools” – especially when it comes to loss – they do the best they can by giving us feedback they think our heads will understand.

TAKE CARE OF YOUR BODY

In addition to our hearts needing tender-loving-care while we are grieving, so do our bodies. A body needs energy to be healthy. Grief is an energy-depleting emotion. If you aren’t replacing and/or balancing its energy you feel awful. For example, after the death of my former finance, my heart physically ached inside my body. It felt like it was going to explode out of my chest. It felt like I was having a heart attack. Maybe in some way – figuratively not literally – I was. My stomach felt like I had swallowed a block of concrete. I had zip, nada, no energy.

Since we have been conditioned not to express our feelings, we bottle them all up inside. We walk around like robots. We hold back the tears. We hide from friends and family. Eventually our bodies can’t take it anymore. We explode inside like metal in a microwave. As a result, it’s not unusual to get sick by not dealing with grief. This outcome is so much worse than just feeling what you were feeling from the beginning.

REIKI HELPED

One suggestion for preventing your grief manifesting in a physical way is to find practices that help you balance the energy in your body – Reiki, Yoga, Tai Chi or Qigong. After the deaths of both of my friends, I found that Reiki really helped me. It kept me more peaceful and relaxed. Much better for my well-being than eating gallons of ice cream or exploding in a meeting.

The bottom line is to understand and express what you are feeling both emotionally and physically.  It is normal and natural and most importantly – it is just right for you. Be sad. Be numb. Be tired. Communicate how you feel – even if you do feel awful. You heart and your body will thank you.

Grief is one instance where knowing you are feeling awful is actually a good thing.

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Sending you love, comfort and peace!


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International Grief Institute

International Grief Institute Webinar 11/06/17

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Grief Reiki® is excited to announce we have been chosen as an Expert Instructor for the newly formed International Grief Institute (IGI). IGI is a global platform working to bridge the gap between life, death, and grief. It offers corporate bereavement services, grief certification training, and personal enrichment opportunities.

The IGI village offers many healing opportunities. They have access to life’s most wonderful teachers who are willing to teach what they’ve lived and learned. Take steps toward your own healing and register for a webinar. Can’t attend the date? Sign up now and watch the recorded session at a time suitable to you.

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Date:    Monday November 6

Time:    09:00 pm EDT

Length:    60 Minutes

Cost:    $27

Sign Up Now

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INTERNATIONAL GRIEF INSTITUTE

Born and built on the fundamentals of education, compassion and empowerment, co-founders Lynda Cheldelin Fell and Glen Lord formed IGI to bridge the gap between corporations, professionals and individuals during personal crisis. Believing in the power of collaboration and partnership, the duo designed IGI as a village of unity to promote help, healing and hope around the world.

Mission:  To improve strategic corporate responses to employee crisis, and offer professional development and personal enrichment opportunities that promote healing and hope for everyone.

Vision: To bridge the gap between humanity and create a unified culture of help, healing and hope.

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Sending you love, comfort and peace!


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Loss To Profound TV

Loss To Profound TV with Val

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Grief Reiki® was a guest on the Loss To Profound (Episode #10) hosted by Val Uchendu.  His live broadcast talk show is about turning a loss/losses into profound; a positive action, movement, brand, lifestyle, foundation. He’s gone through multiple losses in his life and as a Registered Nurse, Val has also cared for people going through loss. On the show I spoke about my journey from 30 years in Corporate America into a new career, how I had to overcome my fear of change, how my multiple losses due to suicide propelled me in the direction of change, and how Reiki became an integral part of my healing.  Here is a direct link to Episode #10.

VAL UCHENDU BIO

Val emigrated from Nigeria to United States to pursue his dream, but took a detour when he volunteered at a local hospital. He spent the next few years, pursing a benevolent career, earned a Bachelor degree in Nursing, and ongoing Master’s Degree in Anesthesia and worked in various areas in the healthcare from inpatient care such as Cardiothoracic Intensive care, postoperative care, and emergency to out-patient care and case management. As a Registered Nurse, Val also became a community advocate for mental health, became a field Ambassador for American Foundation for Suicide Prevention as a field Ambassador and currently Co-Chairperson for the Out of Darkness Pasadena Walk, he will be coordinating 10 different committees for a 600+ person yearly walk to promote suicide prevention and mental health awareness. As natural talent Val enjoyed the privilege of being creative, thanks to his parents who fostered his natural talents; he became an avid lover of all things Music, TV, Film and Theatre. Val knew his dream was to connect with people in a different manner, a manner most natural to him, whether it was with his patients at the hospital or his audience on stage or behind the screen it was the same deep human connection that hears, sees and empathizes with whatever and whoever he’s in contact with.

Val took a detour, but he never lost sight of his dream, a dream that has become a commitment to himself, his late brother, family, patient, audience and community. Val founded Lostandprofoundtv LLC, an entertainment network and brand where people who have learned how turn their loss into something profound will share with others how they did it. The goal is to entertain, educate, engage, enlighten and empower others. Lostandprofoundtv is the home of Val’s Show on You Tube called, “In the Loop with Val” and his UBN radio show, “Loss to Profound.” It will also be the home for Val’s upcoming Motivational and Inspirational books, Movies, TV-shows. Val believes in living life and becoming a solution through giving and love. As the last child in a successful and educated family of six, now five; lostandprofoundtv was inspired by the death his late brother who shared Val’s dream of coming to America, but died in a car accident a month before his departure.

GUEST BRIAN PEYTON JOYNER

Also a guest on Episode #10 was Brian Peyton Joyner.  Brian is a former attorney who on August 1, 2016, quit his job to become a full-time writer of Southern fiction. Brian’s book, The Wisdom of Stones, is about a boy abandoned by his father at age seven, loses his mother to a car accident that same year and becomes his grandparents responsibility and their joy. Handing his grandfather an arrowhead he finds at his mother’s funeral, the boy sets in motion an agreement between them: he gifts his grandfather a stone and his grandfather gifts him a story. Months later when his Grandmother falls ill, the boy makes yet another deal this time with God that if she recovers, he will dedicate himself to the church. These commitments inform the man he will become.

TALK RADIO/LIVE BROADCAST INFORMATION

Loss to Profound TV can be found on many different platforms such as: You Tube, iTunes, and iHeart Radio.

Here are the direct links:

YOU TUBE

ITUNES

IHEART RADIO

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Sending you love, comfort and peace!

 


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