Tag Archives: recovery

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Hope

How Grief Can Bring Hope

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Seems like HOPE is the last thing anyone would be feeling if they are grieving. You are probably right. But feelings of hope have tremendous healing powers. Studies have shown that having a sense of hope can help people recover from tragedy. Finding ways to bring hope into your life can help you to heal even while you are grieving.

Hope equates to believing something good can happen. When you are grieving, something good happening is the last thing you expect. Nothing seems good anymore. Your world is forever changed. You just drag yourself through each day lost in sadness. It’s hard to find hope when you are feeling that way.

WAYS TO FIND HOPE

Pay Attention to the Signs. Knowing your loved ones are still around can give you a sense of hope. Look for the butterflies, songs on the radio, or pennies on the ground. Don’t second guess what you are experiencing. Don’t brush it off. Don’t try to find an explanation. Signs cannot be explained. They have to be felt with the heart. They have to be believed with the soul.

Distance Yourself From Negativity. Grieving is tough. Don’t add to it by surrounding yourself with negative people or situations. This will only bring you down further. Seek out positive people who support you and emotionally healthy environments where you feel safe.

Babysit. There is a quote that says, “Sometimes you just need to talk to a two-year-old so you understand life again.” This is so true. Who can teach us more about hope than a small child? Babysitting can be a way of finding hope again.

Set Small Goals. You can’t go from hopeless to hopeful with the snap of your fingers. But you can set small goals to help you move in that direction. Get through one hour, then one day then one week, then one month. Focus on one thing to help get you there. Hope will show up as a result of even your smallest action.

Pray. You don’t have to be religious to pray. In fact, meditation can be a form of prayer. You can pray for yourself. You can pray for others. Either way prayer helps you express gratitude and find hope. Ultimately prayer centers your heart and increases your awareness on what matters most. Isn’t that what life is all about?

For me, once I started receiving signs and messages from my loved ones, things changed. I began to find hope again. I was reminded that my loved ones are really never far away. This feeling of hope helped me to make it through another day. Then another. I finally found comfort. Death seemed less “final”. Less absolute. My pain was diminished. My mind began to open. I began to recognize synchronicities. I began to feel my loved ones next to me. I began to see the signs they were sending to me. I began to believe in a better tomorrow. Then I actually had a better tomorrow. Pretty soon, hope started to heal my heart. I began to see life’s beauty again. The blue sky. The sunsets. I began to take nothing for granted. My family. My friends. Hope helped me to emerge from two powerful tragedies. Maybe it will do the same for you.

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Excerpt from Grief Reiki – An Integrated Approach to the Emotional, Physical and Spiritual Components of Grief and Loss, Chapter 6, Letting Go.

Now Available on AmazonKindle and Barnes and Noble.

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Sending you love, comfort and peace!

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Grief Recovery Support Groups

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Grief Reiki® LLC offers the following The Grief Recovery Method® Support Groups to help participants deal with a loss of any kind. While death and divorce may seem to be the most obvious losses, courses are not limited to those losses. There are more than 43 life events that can produce feelings of grief.

What Makes Us Different

We focus on recovery from unresolved grief.

We are an educational program not counseling or therapy.

We address the emotional not intellectual side of grief.

We provide a structured action plan.

We require commitment to recovery.

We are not a “Drop In” support group.

What We Offer

The Grief Recovery Method® provides a safe environment for you to look at your old beliefs about dealing with loss, and provide actions that will lead you to complete unresolved emotions that may still be causing you pain. As a trained and Certified Grief Recovery Specialist®, we will facilitate your journey with compassion and confidentiality.

Individual and Group Sessions

Outcome: Assists recovery from loss by a series of small and correct choices made by the griever. Our job is to explain those action choices and guide the participants in taking them.

Length:  Individual Sessions (1 hour for 7 weeks) or Group Sessions (2 hours for 8 weeks)

Course agenda includes: The Grief Recovery Method Principles; Misconceptions about Grief; Concepts of Recovery; How Incomplete Loss Occurs; Identifying Incomplete Losses; Loss History Graph; Relationship Graph; and Completion Letter.

Homework: There will be weekly homework assignments.

Course Material: Included as part of investment.

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Dealing with Pet Loss

Outcome: Helps grieving pet owners discover and complete what was left emotionally unfinished and ultimately, how to have fond memories of their beloved pet not turn painful.

Length – 2 hours for 6 weeks

Course agenda includes: The Grief Recovery Method Principles; Misconceptions about Grief; Concepts of Recovery; How Incomplete Loss Occurs; Identifying Incomplete Losses; Pet Loss History Graph; Pet Relationship Graph; and Pet Completion Letter.

Homework: There will be weekly homework assignments

Course Material: Included as part of investment.

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When Children Grieve

Outcome: Assists parents/guardians by providing them with directions and guidelines to help their child’s recovery from loss.

Length: 2 hours for 6 weeks

Course agenda includes: The Grief Recovery Method Principles; Misconceptions about Grief;Concepts of Recovery;How Incomplete Loss Occurs; Identifying Incomplete Losses; Emotional Energy Checklist; Moving, Divorce and Other Losses; The “D” Word”; Learning to Avoid Incorrect Language; and Taking Children to Funerals.

Homework: There will be weekly homework assignments

Course Material: Included as part of investment.

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How to Register/Schedule

Go to: Grief Reiki Online Scheduling Tool

Pick an course option and complete one of our online Client Forms.

We accept payments through PayPal.

For other payment options, please call our office at (800) 458-7348.

All classes/sessions are held in our facility located at:

“The Edge”, 877 N. Douglas St., El Segundo, CA 90245

There is plenty of free parking.

Once you register/schedule, you will receive a confirmation email with more details.

We look forward to having you join us!

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Sending you love, comfort and peace!

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#ihadamiscarriage

Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness (2016)

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October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. October 15th is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. It is a day of remembrance for pregnancy loss and infant death which includes, but is not limited to, miscarriage, still birth, SIDS or the death of a newborn.

**90,000 children die annually in the United States before their first birthday.

**Nearly 2,500 babies are lost/year in the United States due to S.I.D.S.

**Nearly 30,000 babies a year are born stillborn. The number of stillbirths that occur worldwide jumps to more than 4.5 million/year.

**More babies die as a result of stillbirth than all other causes of infant death combined.

**Stillbirth occurs ten times more frequently than S.I.D.S.

**15-20% of all clinically recognized pregnancies end in miscarriage each year

Unfortunately, pregnancy loss through miscarriage is a natural and common event. More women than you think have experienced at least one; others many more. If this is the reality, then why is pregnancy loss so hard for society to deal with? People talk around it but rarely about it. I think it goes back to the fact that anything dealing with loss is a taboo subject. Realistically it’s because people don’t know what to do or say to someone who has suffered such a loss.  In addition, the responses we have perpetuated for generations are far from helpful:

**”You will have other children.”

**”It wasn’t meant to be.”

**”The time just wasn’t right.”

**”God needed another Angel.”

These statements, although logical, do nothing to help a broken heart. Dr. Jessica Zucker created the #IHADAMISCARRIAGE campaign after she had her own miscarriage. She watched as friends and family struggled to find what words to say, while some said nothing at all.  She created a line of “empathy” cards about what should be said to someone after a pregnancy loss. These cards hit the miscarriage bullseye. When Mark Zuckerberg was honest about his wife’s three miscarriages, women and families who have faced a similar situation shared their stories. It demonstrated that talking about miscarriage is okay – even for men.

Thinking back to my own miscarriage I remember the immense feelings of loss. One moment you are wrapped up in the excitement of finding out you are pregnant; the next is devastation and disbelief. You are powerless to do anything. For me, we had just announced my pregnancy to our families the night before. I woke up the following morning to find blood. I panicked. We were out of town and far away from my Doctor. I begged my husband to get us home. The whole way I wondered why it was happening. Was there something I did or didn’t do? I placed my hands over my stomach and prayed for my unborn child. Once we got home the cramping and bleeding progressed. My head knew it was going to happen but my heart wouldn’t let go. For days afterwards, I still felt pregnant. If I still felt it then it still must be true. Maybe it hadn’t happened at all. Maybe it was just a bad dream.

The Dr. did an ultrasound. No heartbeat. Nothing.  Just an empty womb. I looked at the computer screen and it finally hit me. There was no more baby. It was over. All I know is at that very moment my “feeling” of being pregnant disappeared. My head and my heart had finally caught up. They were now in the same place. I could admit it. I had a miscarriage.  The deep sense of sadness cannot be described. I felt empty. Literally. Empty. Alone. Lost in my despair. Fortunately, my husband was supportive. When I cried, he cried with me. But he would never understand what it felt like to have a child growing inside of you one moment, then have it gone the next. On that level he could never understand.

I found these quotes to be some of the best about miscarriage:

“A miscarriage is a natural and common event. All told, probably more women have lost a child from this world than haven’t. Most don’t mention it, and they go on from day to day as if it hadn’t happened, so people imagine a woman in this situation never really knew or loved what she had. But ask her sometime: how old would your child be now? And she’ll know.”
― Barbara Kingsolver

“The English language lacks the words to mourn an absence. For the loss of a parent, grandparent, spouse, child or friend, we have all manner of words and phrases, some helpful some not. Still we are conditioned to say something, even if it is only “I’m sorry for your loss.” But for an absence, for someone who was never there at all, we are wordless to capture that particular emptiness. For those who deeply want children and are denied them, those missing babies hover like silent ephemeral shadows over their lives. Who can describe the feel of a tiny hand that is never held?”
― Laura Bush 

So here are things you can say to someone who has suffered through a miscarriage:

“I can’t imagine how heartbreaking this must be for you.” – Grief is about a broken heart. How do you even begin to understand how a miscarriage feels? This statement indicates that you respect how sad and difficult it must be for them.

“I really don’t know what to say.” – Words can’t even describe the feelings associated with losing a pregnancy. Saying you “don’t know what to say” is one of the most honest answers you can give. This way they know you are not trying to judge, analyze or fix them.

“I am so sorry for your loss.” – Sorry in this sense means to be sad or mournful. It reminds someone that you are also sad for their pregnancy loss. It’s another way of being honest. 

“Can I give you a hug?” – Hugs reduce the amount of stress in our bodies. Grieving is one of the most stressful events in our lives. Offering a hug (or two) to someone who has suffered a miscarriage will be good for their emotional, physical and spiritual health.

“What happened?” – As hard as it it, someone who suffered a miscarriage needs and wants to tell their story. They want you to hear and understand to what they have to say. Don’t avoid talking to them. The most loving thing you can do to listen without judgement. Be a “heart with ears.”

Just having someone to listen or offer a hug bring a sense a peace.

As Barbara Kingsolver stated most women don’t mention a miscarriage but that doesn’t mean it didn’t have an impact on them. In fact, I can say that I still love someone who was never born. And how old would my child be now?  Twenty six years old.

#PregnancyAndInfantLossRemembranceDay

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Sending you love, comfort and peace!

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