Tag Archives: Loss

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Over 40 Different Grieving Events

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In the late 1960s, psychiatrists Thomas Holmes and Richard Rahe conducted research that resulted in the Social Readjustment Rating Scale (SRRS), more commonly known as the Holmes and Rahe Stress Scale. This scale lists over 43 different life events that can cause stress. Each event, called a Life Change Unit (LCU), had a different “weight” for stress. The more events, the higher the score. The higher the score, the more likely the patient was to experience illness. Unfortunately the SRRS did not take individual differences into consideration by assuming that each stressor affects people the same way. Regardless it became an important study for better understanding how certain life events increased the chances of stress-related illnesses and health-related issues.

 

Holmes-Rahe Stress Scale

The Grief Recovery Institute® (GRI) has leveraged the Holmes-Rahe Stress Scale for the events that can produce the range of emotions we call grief.  Since GRI founders John James and Russell Friedman feel that all grief is experienced at 100%, they have chosen to omit the mean value/scoring system. Since everyone is unique not all of the stressors listed might be viewed as grieving or loss events. As a result, they have added “intangible” events such as loss of trust, loss of safety, loss of faith, etc. which can also produce feelings of grief.

Their list of grieving events include:

  1. Death of a spouse
  2. Divorce
  3. Marital separation
  4. Imprisonment
  5. Death of a close family member
  6. Personal injury or illness
  7. Marriage
  8. Dismissal from work
  9. Marital reconciliation
  10. Retirement
  11. Change in health of family member
  12. Pregnancy
  13. Sexual difficulties
  14. Gain a new family member
  15. Business readjustment
  16. Change in financial state
  17. Death of a close friend
  18. Change to different line of work
  19. Change in frequency of arguments
  20. Major mortgage
  21. Foreclosure of mortgage or loan
  22. Change in responsibilities at work
  23. Child leaving home
  24. Trouble with in-laws
  25. Outstanding personal achievement
  26. Spouse starts or stops work
  27. Begin or end school
  28. Change in living conditions
  29. Revision of personal habits
  30. Trouble with boss
  31. Change in working hours or conditions
  32. Change in residence
  33. Change in schools
  34. Change in recreation
  35. Change in church activities
  36. Change in social activities
  37. Minor mortgage or loan
  38. Change in sleeping habits
  39. Change in number of family reunions
  40. Change in eating habits
  41. Vacation
  42. Holidays – Christmas, Thanksgiving
  43. Minor violation of law
  44. Loss of Trust, Loss of Approval, Loss of Safety and Loss of Faith, etc.

Since grief is defined as “the conflicting feelings caused by the end of or change in a familiar pattern of behavior”, it is understandable why these events can produce the range of emotions we refer to as grief. It’s also important that we understand if we go through one of these events in our lives, it is normal and natural to have these feelings. For example, although moving is on the list how many of us have treated it as a grieving event? Probably not very many. Understanding moving can cause feelings of grief can help us to have a plan-of-action in advance for how to address it.

The same is true for all the events listed. If we recognize these events can cause feelings related to grief, we can address them honestly when they happen. We can also change the way that society has traditional viewed grief, as only the result of the death of a loved one. Knowing the scope and breadth of grief, can help future generations deal with grief more effectively.

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Sending you love, comfort and peace!


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Does Reiki Help With Grief?

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I’ve been asked a number of times how can Reiki help with grief.  That’s a great question. I had been studying and receiving Reiki long before the deaths of my loved ones. So when they died, one of the first things I did each time was to call my Reiki Teacher and Mentor for a session. Anyone who knows me have heard me say that Reiki helped me get through the grief associated with both of their deaths. Here is my take on why.

WHAT IS REIKI?

As a quick refresher, Reiki is is a Japanese technique for stress reduction and relaxation that also promotes healing. Reiki is given by the “laying of hands” that has been practiced for thousands of years. In fact, the basis for modern-day Reiki may have started in Tibet more than 2,500 years ago. The word Reiki comes from two Japanese words – Rei and Ki.  The word “Rei” means higher knowledge or spiritual consciousness.  The word “Ki” means life energy.  This is the same meaning as in Chi (Chinese), Prana (Sanskrit) and Ti/Ki (Hawaiian). Life energy plays an important role in everything we do. Reiki harnesses that life energy to promote healing, relaxation and a sense of calm.

RESPONSES TO GRIEF

In researching Reiki back in 2007, everything I read said Reiki focused on “health and spiritual well-being” and promoted “stress reduction and relaxation”. Maintaining “health and spiritual well-being” when you are grieving can be a top priority. Once grief hits everything seems to go out of whack. Our minds can’t compute fast enough anymore. We feel like we are in a fog. Our bodies also go through a difficult time. Sometimes we feel completely disassociated from them. Just like our hearts, they too may begin to feel broken and battered. I am sure if you have ever grieved, you may have experienced symptoms like:

Insomnia

Headaches

Loss of appetite

Difficulty falling asleep

Weakness

Fatigue

Feelings of heaviness

Rollercoaster of emotions

Aches, pains, and other stress-related ailments.

Since the above list shows that grief affects us physically, it’s important to understand what is happening and why. A body needs energy to be healthy. Energy from food, energy from exercise and energy from being outside in nature. Grief however is an energy-depleting emotion. If you aren’t replacing and/or balancing the energy your body loses when grieving, you begin to feel awful. It you don’t do anything to replenish the energy being removed from your body, over time you feel worse and worse. For example, after the death of my former finance, my heart physically ached inside my body. It felt like it was going to explode out of my chest. It felt like I was having a heart attack. Maybe in some way – figuratively not literally – I was. My stomach felt like I had swallowed a block of concrete. I had zip, nada, no energy. A person’s body, mind and soul can only take this for so long before any number of unhealthy things start to happen. It’s not unusual to get sick when you are grieving. It’s not unusual to have some sort of accident when you are grieving. These two outcomes can almost have worse consequences than if we just emotionally felt our grief from the beginning.

BENEFITS OF REIKI

As humans, we are made up of energy.  When the energy paths of the body are blocked or disturbed, the result can be illness, weakness, and pain. Reiki balances and strengthens the flow of energy within the body, which may decrease pain, ease muscle tension, improve sleep, and generally enhance the body’s ability to heal itself. Energy flows through a Reiki practitioner’s hands to the recipient. Reiki activates or enhances a person’s natural healing processes. Reiki provides us with physical, mental, emotional and spiritual benefits by balancing our energy. Some of the benefits of Reiki include:

Promotes relaxation

Improves sleep

Reduces stress and tension

Helps with pain management

Reduces anxiety

Soothes digestion

Improves circulation

Enhances healing

It’s not a coincidence that the symptoms associated with grieving and the benefits of Reiki almost match each other one-for-one. Reiki energy knows right where to go to balance and heal. The more I started receiving Reiki (and eventually once I learned how to practice Reiki on myself) the more I realized that I was actually taking better care of my body. As soon as I started Reiki after my loved ones died, my heart stopped feeling like it was going to explode. The brick in my stomach eventually went away. Being physically balanced and more relaxed helped me to find a sense of calm even though I was grieving. It helped me to think more clearly. It helped to sleep better so I wasn’t walking around the house and work like a zombie. Reiki didn’t magically take the sadness associated with my grief away,  but it did make it physically easier for me to deal with grief’s ups and downs. Having a sense of calm and balance gave me the courage and stamina I needed to tackle my journey through grief.

So consider trying Reiki. Don’t wait until you are grieving to receive its benefits. If you haven’t tried it and are grieving, find a Reiki Practitioner in your area. Reiki will help you to stay well both physically and spiritually which is something we especially need after suffering any loss.

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Sending you love, comfort and peace!


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Grief Reiki Healing Program

Grief Reiki® Healing Program

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Every year millions face the effects of dealing with loss and grief. This can be the result of death, divorce, moving, retirement or other life events. Since society hasn’t provided effective ways for handling grief, many grievers feel lost and alone.

Our first-of-its-kind Grief Reiki® Healing Program uses Reiki and other spiritually-based tools to help others heal who are grieving. In this educational program, students learn how to emotionally, physically, and spiritually guide a griever who is navigating their grief journey. Grief Reiki® Energy Healers are trained to better understand what a griever experiences, so they can provide support through the ups and downs associated with loss.

PREREQUISITES

This healing program is open to all new and experienced Reiki Practitioners and Reiki Masters. Students should have a desire to work with those grieving any type of loss.

WHY ENROLL IN THIS PROGRAM

This healing program is designed to teach Reiki Practitioners how to help a griever move through the emotional, physical and spiritual effects of grief. Having a sense of calm and balance will provide a griever with the courage and stamina they need to tackle their journey.

This healing program is comprehensive and detailed. With over 3 hours of video lectures, as well as accompanying handouts and activities, students receive the tools to help others who are going through one of the most difficult times in their life.

PROGRAM BENEFITS

As a Grief Reiki® Energy Healer, you will have the benefit of a comprehensive and multi-disciplinary learning experience. You will gain meaningful new insights to impact your personal and professional life while elevating your Reiki expertise. Upon completion of the program, you will be equipped to guide others through a positive transformation that will leave a life-long impact.

NOTE: Becoming a Grief Reiki® Energy Healer identifies that you’ve taken our healing program and have demonstrated the skills necessary to help grievers using Reiki and other spiritually-based tools. Our program does not authorize you to use the terms “Therapist”, “Psychologist”, or “Counselor.”

WHAT TO EXPECT AS A STUDENT

– Unique focus on the benefits of Reiki and other spiritual tools to help grievers

– Improved helping skills including active and empathetic listening

– A transformative learning experience that provides positive results

– An integrated program where you receive substantive guidance and support

– Access to tools, handouts and activities to augment your Reiki practice

WHAT YOUR CLIENTS WILL GAIN

– A clearer path to understanding their grief so they can move through it

– Enhanced capability for self-care during a difficult time in their life

– Ability to integrate the emotional, physical and spiritual grief components

– Stronger belief they can move from surviving their loss to living again

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS

What is meant by “Grief Reiki® Energy Healer”?

Individuals who become Grief Reiki® Energy Healers are trained in a specific approach and methodology to help clients move through their grief using Reiki and other spiritually-based tools.

When can I begin helping others?

You can begin helping others as soon as you have successfully completed the program.

Does the program address all kinds of losses or just the death of a loved one?

Grief is the normal response to over 40 different life events. You will be given techniques to support any type of grieving event.

What technology do I need in order to be able to participate in this online course?

You will require a computer with an internet connection.

Do you have a money-back policy?

Although we are super proud of this program, we realize that there are often circumstance where students change their minds. For that reason, we provide a 30-day money back guarantee. After 30 days, the program becomes non-refundable.

HOW DO I LEARN MORE?

CLICK HERE to learn more about becoming a Grief Reiki® Energy Healer on UDEMY.

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Sending you love, comfort and peace!


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