Tag Archives: Holidays

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Mother's Day

Missing Someone on Mother’s Day

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Mother’s Day can be one of the toughest days of the year when you are grieving. The loss could be the result of the death of your own Mother and/or the loss of your own child. Often you can anticipate it weeks or even months in advance giving you a sense of dread. Although it is actually healthier for you to cherish this day as a way of honoring your loved one, it all depends on where you are in your grief journey. Sometimes treating Mother’s Day as just another day can be just as healthy.

WAYS TO APPROACH MOTHER’S DAY

Be Prepared. Anticipating the grief associated with these events is normal. Knowing ahead of time may be tough but can help you to decide how you want to spend that day. It could be celebrating with family and friends or being alone in your grief. Being prepared will help you to honor what works best for you.

Plan a Celebration. There is nothing that says you can’t celebrate on Mother’s Day. It’s perfectly okay to throw a party. It’s perfectly okay to actually have some fun in memory of your loved one. If you do, they will be there celebrating with you.

Get Out of Town. If it is too much for you to be home alone during these reminder days, plan a trip away or go visit family or friends. It is perfectly okay to not be around if being in familiar surroundings with reminders everywhere is too much to handle. Just make the decision to get out of town.

Share Memories. Consider inviting friends over so you can share memories of your loved one. Ask them to share their own memories. Pull out old photographs or home movies. Tell stories. Laugh until you cry. Cry until you laugh. Memories are the best way to remember a loved one. There is no better way to honor them.

Start a New Tradition. If facing your usual traditions are too difficult, start a new one. Make a donation to a charitable organization, volunteer at an animal shelter or plant a tree in your loved one’s name on Mother’s Day.

Honor Your Grief. It’s normal to be both sad and joyful on these days. Expressing both kinds of emotions makes us human. Honor these emotions. Don’t avoid them. Worse, don’t pretend. Just feel.

No Fanfare. It’s also okay to let these days just be ordinary days. No celebration. Just another day.

It is completely healthy to either acknowledge or not acknowledge Mother’s Day. Do what is right for you.

Surround yourself with people who understand what you need – not what they think you should or shouldn’t be doing.

Let this days come and go. Even if this means choosing to do nothing.

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Meditation: Honoring You on Mother’s Day

Today is Mother’s Day.

Although I miss you terribly, I remember all the Mother’s Days we shared together with a smile.

I remember the laughter but most importantly I remember the love.

I am celebrating you and our love today.

Even though you can’t be here with me, I know you are smiling too.

And so it is.

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Sending you love, comfort and peace!


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Holiday Coupons for Grievers

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In our last blog post we provided a few Holiday gift recommendations for a griever. In this post, we are offering something  more personal – Holiday Coupons.  Each one offers a simple act of kindness you can personally do for a griever. Even the simplest of gestures can make all the difference in the world. Here are some coupon ideas to give to someone who has experienced a loss.

I’ll Do Your Grocery Shopping

I’ll Sit With You While You Cry

I’ll Watch Your Kids For A Day

I’ll Treat You To A Pedicure Or Manicure

I’ll Clean Your Kitchen

I’ll Do Your Laundry

I’ll Bring Over A Home-Cooked Meal

I’ll Clean Your House

I’ll Help You With Paperwork

I’ll Help You Go Through Your Loved Ones Things

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Sending you love, comfort and peace!


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Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving, Birthdays and Grief (2017)

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How are we supposed handle it when Thanksgiving, Birthdays and Grief all hit at the same time? November 25 is the birthday of my former fiancé. This year it two days after Thanksgiving. A bittersweet day. Every 7 years his birthday would fall on Thanksgiving. It usually became a double celebration.

SPECIAL MEMORIES

One year in particular stands out to me. We drove to see the Christmas lights and garden displays at Longwood Gardens. We heard it was amazing. The word “amazing” just doesn’t do it justice. Longwood Gardens consists of over 1,077 acres of gardens, woodlands, and meadows in Kennet Square, Pennsylvania in the Brandywine Creek Valley.  It is one of the premier botanical gardens in the United States. It is the living legacy of Pierre S. du Pont, a world traveler from an early age, who was often inspired to add features to the garden after attending world’s fairs. The most notable additions being the massive conservatory, complete with a huge pipe organ and an extensive system of water fountains. Years before it was a public garden, the land on which Longwood Gardens stands was home to the native Lenni Lenape tribe and Quaker farmers. Since then, the land has undergone significant transformation to become the magnificent property that is enjoyed by more than a million guests each year.

Every year at Christmas time, more than 500,000 twinkling lights and spectacular fountain shows compose a brilliant Christmas wonderland. Visitors stroll through the ground which has lights strung on 40 miles of wire glowing in the trees. Large, starry snowflakes and icicles sparkle throughout the Gardens, while the continuously performing Theatre fountains present the colors of a Christmas rainbow. Although it was close to freezing, we walked through the Gardens in amazement.

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PENNSYLVANNIA COUNTRYSIDE

While in the area, we stayed at a beautiful Bed and Breakfast, Inn at Grace Winery (formerly Sweetwater Inn). Established in 1734, it is an historic 50-acre estate located in the heart of The Brandywine Valley. We were told by the owners that the cast and crew of the movie, The Village, had been staying there. The Village was a 2004 American film, written, produced, and directed by M. Night Shyamalan and starred Bryce Dallas Howard, Joaquin Phoenix, Adrien Brody, William Hurt and Sigourney Weaver. We had just missed seeing all of them by one day!  We also visited the Brandywine River Museum home of the works of American realist artist, Andrew  Wyeth and his family. His father, N.C. Wyeth was an illustrator of many children’s classics such as Treasure Island and The Last of the Mohicans. Andrew’s son, Jamie Wyeth, is a contemporary American realist painter. The museum is housed in a converted nineteenth century mill on the banks of the Brandywine Creek. Visiting the museum was a beautiful way to end a beautiful weekend. These memories will last forever.

Now when November 25 and Thanksgiving roll around, part of me just wants it to be over. Another part of me thinks back to all the wonderful times we spent together. Just like our time in Pennsylvania. Freezing as we walked through Longwood Gardens but not wanting to leave. Since he died, I still try to remember his birthday every year.  With wonderful memories like this, it isn’t hard to forget. I think it is healthy and honest.  Remembering him just seems like the right thing to do.  I just focus on all the great memories we had together.

Happy Birthday.  I haven’t forgotten you.

I know you are having a margarita (or two) in Heaven today!

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Sending you love, comfort and peace!


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