Tag Archives: Family

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Dad's Recovery

Dad’s Recovery (Part 2)

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My Dad died on January 28th, 2017 due to complications after a fall. He would have been 85 years old this year. He and my Mom would have also celebrated their 65th wedding anniversary. This is the second in a series of articles written about his final days.

Article 6, Dad’s Death – 10 Life Lessons: https://goo.gl/SXh5NX
Article 5, Dad’s Death – The Aftermath: https://goo.gl/6YILxK
Article 4, Dad’s Final Days: https://goo.gl/k4PH63
Article 3, Dad’s End of Life Dreams and Visions: https://goo.gl/x2zvqA
Article 2, Dad’s Recovery: https://goo.gl/80ZBAc
Article 1, Dad’s Fall and Surgery: https://goo.gl/M7Xm65

ROAD TO RECOVERY

After Dad’s emergency surgery on Thursday January 5th, it was a matter of watching his recovery hour-by-hour. Different doctors would parade in and out of his room. It was important for one of us to be there because Dad was overwhelmed with everything that was going on.  If we missed a Doctor making his or her rounds, it was hard to determine what was really going on with Dad’s health. His orthopedic surgeon, who usually showed up around 6:30 am, monitored his post-surgery healing. His cardiologist, who visited mid-morning (thankfully), monitored Dad’s heart. During the first week after surgery, Dad’s blood tests showed he was not clotting properly. This was the result many years of blood thinners. The cardiologist decided Dad should receive another transfusion. Then another. A few days later, Dad’s clotting was back-to-normal but he was now anemic. They added iron to his long list of medications. It seemed like one issue would get resolved then something else would pop up. It was a balancing act. Every day was different. Sometimes it changed by the hour. Once Dad’s iron levels improved, fluid began to accumulate throughout his body; most specifically his lungs. This led to bringing in a pulmonary specialist, who put Dad on diuretics and scheduled daily chest x-rays. The Doctors didn’t want this fluid to lead to pneumonia. You don’t have to be a Doctor to know what pneumonia can do to an an elderly man.

CRITICAL CARE UNIT (CCU)

By Wednesday January 11th the fluid in Dad’s lungs had not improved, so his Doctors decided to move him to the CCU. There Dad could get more specialized and focused care. He was placed on oxygen and received regular breathing treatments to keep his lung passages open. Things really started to improve. He was in better spirits. He watched movies again. He ate well. He pooped and he peed. He received visitors. He even started walking with the Physical Therapist. This all lifted his spirits. And ours. Everyone agreed Dad was doing better.

As a result of these improvements, we were contacted by the Hospital Discharge team about finding a Rehabilitation Facility (Nursing Home). This meant Dad would be transferred over the next few days. It would begin next phase of his treatment; one step closer to getting him back home. My sister and I went through the list and decided to physically check the facilities out before making a decision.  She would check a couple near her house; I would check out the ones near the Hospital and my parent’s house. It was overwhelming and heartbreaking walking into many of these facilities. Although the facility personnel were loving and caring, the elderly seemed to be crammed into every last inch of space. The energy was sad and depressing. This was NOT what we wanted for Dad.

One night after leaving the Hospital, I stopped by the rehab facility that was closest to my parent’s house. It was tucked away in a residential neighborhood on a hill overlooking Los Angeles. I felt like this was “the place.” I let my sister and Mom know. They agreed this would be our first choice. Now we just had to pray they had an opening. The next day, I spoke to my Dad about the facility. He said it was the same facility he had chosen for his Mother (my Grandmother). Unfortunately she died before she could be transferred there. My heart dropped to my stomach. I had no idea. My son had just been born when my Grandmother was in the Hospital.  Although I visited her there, I had no idea the behind-the-scenes work my Dad was doing on her behalf.  Realizing this may be a problem for him I asked him if he was okay with going to the same place. I said I absolutely understood if he couldn’t. We could find somewhere else. With tears in his eyes Dad said “yes”, mostly because he remembered the beauty of the facility. I started working his transfer paperwork.

By Saturday January 14th Dad had improved to the point he was moved back to the Orthopedic floor.  This meant the rehab facility would happen sooner than later. Things finally seemed to be progressing in a positive direction.

MAKING IMPROVEMENTS (AGAIN)

Once Dad was back in Orthopedics, things continued to be on the upswing. He seemed to be in a better place emotionally, spiritually and physically. He received daily Physical Therapy, ate well, peed and pooped. Life was beginning to look rosy again. We spent time talking. We watched movies. I showed him how to “binge watch” shows on Netflix. Dad especially loved Grace and Frankie with Jane Fonda and Lily Tomlinson. He couldn’t get over how he could watch episode after episode. We started with Season 1. I also set up “casino games’ on his Kindle. He played for hours. He seemed to be on the mend. This was the Dad I knew and loved.

The one thing that changed significantly during this time was Dad’s sleeping habits. When I would leave the Hospital at night he would seem relaxed and ready to sleep. However when I would arrive the next morning , either the nurses or Dad would mention he had a “rough” night. At first I wasn’t sure what “rough” meant. I could only gauge it by how he appeared when I arrived that morning. Most of the time he was grumpy or agitated. Consequently, the day would go downhill from there. Thinking back, there was really only one morning when I walked into his room and found him calm and relaxed. No wonder his health was on such a roller coaster.

So I asked the night shift nurses what they thought was going on. They told me Dad may be “sundowning.”  I had read about this condition before. It is normally associated with Dementia and Alzheimer patients and refers to a state of confusion at the end of the day and into the night. As a result, I paid more attention to Dad’s “behavior” as it got closer to the afternoons and evenings. I noticed he did become more agitated and restless. Maybe this explained what the nurses had meant when they said he had a “rough” night. I could only pray it would get better so he could get some sleep. After all, the body needs sleep in order to heal.  If he wasn’t sleeping, how could he get better?

Dad had now been in the Hospital for over 2 weeks.

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Sending you love, comfort and peace!

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Dad's Final Days (Part 1)

Dad’s Fall & Surgery (Part 1)

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My Dad died on January 28th, 2017 due to complications after a fall. He would have been 85 years old in September. He and my Mom would have also celebrated their 65th wedding anniversary. This is the first in a series of articles written about his final days.

Article 6, Dad’s Death – 10 Life Lessons: https://goo.gl/SXh5NX
Article 5, Dad’s Death – The Aftermath: https://goo.gl/6YILxK
Article 4, Dad’s Final Days: https://goo.gl/k4PH63
Article 3, Dad’s End of Life Dreams and Visions: https://goo.gl/x2zvqA
Article 2, Dad’s Recovery: https://goo.gl/80ZBAc
Article 1, Dad’s Fall and Surgery: https://goo.gl/M7Xm65

THE FALL

Dad fell on Wednesday January 4th, 2017 and our lives were forever changed. He was taking the last Christmas wreath down off the back door and missed a step. As a result he fell backwards onto the concrete driveway.  I was just finishing up at work when I got a phone call from my sister. She said Dad had fallen and could not get up. Unable to move him herself, my Mom had called the paramedics.  I knew I needed to get home right away. I called my youngest daughter (who was still home on Christmas break) and told her what happened. I headed home. It was lunchtime, so in typical Los Angeles fashion there was traffic everywhere.  I prayed the whole way home that Dad hadn’t broken anything but my gut told me something different.

As I was drove up our street, I saw the ambulance and fire trucks in front of our house. There must have been 6-8 firemen. My Dad had already been loaded into the ambulance. I spoke to him and he was in good spirits. I ran into the house to see how my Mom was doing and she was not doing well at all. In fact, she seemed to be in worse shape than my Dad. She said Dad had called her from the driveway once he fell. Thank goodness he had his cell phone with him and had been able to make that call. She went outside and he told her he thought he had broken something. My Mom asked him why he had taken down the decorations when everyone had told him NOT to do it by himself. Of course he didn’t listen. As he lay there, Mom called the paramedics who seemed to have arrived in full force. Many of our neighbors were also outside. One of them was in comforting my Mom. My youngest daughter drove up and stayed with my Mom. The paramedics told me they were having a hard time finding a trauma hospital with an empty bed for my Dad. After about an hour, they were able to find one at St. John’s Hospital in Santa Monica. It wasn’t the closest hospital but one we were familiar with. As I watched the ambulance drive away, something inside my head told me “he won’t be coming home.”

THE EMERGENCY ROOM

Once I got to the Emergency Room, I was allowed to go into my Dad’s room. He already had xrays and was waiting for the results. They were in the process of giving him some pain medicine. He was in decent spirits and able to converse. He felt bad about falling. He was worried they wouldn’t know all the medications he was taking. Coincidentally (or not) I had just put an updated list of his medicines in my wallet the night before. As I tried to talk with him and keep him calm, the Doctor came in to tell us Dad had basically “obliterated” his left hip, as well as the surrounding muscles and tendons. He said it was bad. He asked who we wanted to do the surgery and we gave him the name of my Dad’s orthopedic surgeon. He had already replaced my Dad’s other hip (and one of his knee) and was on staff at St. John’s.  He was one of, if not the best orthopedic surgeons around. This brought Dad some comfort. Now all we had to do was wait for a room to open up for my Dad on the orthopedic floor.

While we waited, Dad was moved into a larger room in the ER. I think he finally realized that his fall had been worse than he thought. I could see the worry starting to form in his face. I told him to let go of any worry and to do what he could to relax. Telling my Dad not to worry was like telling the sun to never shine but I said it anyway. I knew if I was calm it would help him to be calm. While we were still in the ER, my youngest daughter called and said she wanted to come by. She was leaving to go back to college the next day and wanted to see her Papa. I told her she didn’t have to make the trip to the Hospital in work hour traffic. When she insisted I told her to head over. Her insistence confirmed to me that she thought this might be the last time she saw him. I didn’t push the issue with her and respected her need to be there.

When she showed up my Dad was happy to see her. He so loved being Papa to my three children. He loved them so much. His smile when he saw them always lit up the room. We all chatted and had a couple turkey sandwiches the nurses brought us. In typical Dad fashion, he complained about the sandwich being too dry. I thought it was good and was happy to have something especially since I hadn’t eaten since breakfast.  My daughter stayed until her parking meter was about to run out. She gave her Papa a hug & kiss and I walked her to her car. I hugged her and thanked her for being there. I never brought up her insistence about visiting. Besides, her visit kept Dad in good spirits.

By late evening, Dad was moved into his own room on the orthopedics floor. We were told that he would be having surgery to repair his hip the next day. Luckily, his usual orthopedic surgeon was available to do the surgery. I stayed until I knew he was settled in. I kissed him goodbye and headed home. Little did I know how the next few weeks would change everything.

THE SURGERY

On Thursday January 5th, preparation began for my Dad’s hip surgery. Because it was an “emergency” they had no idea when they would fit it into the Doctor’s schedule. Dad, in his infinite lack of patience mode, asked a lot of questions no one could answer. I tried to distract him with other things to keep his mind occupied. By early afternoon, the nurses came in and said the surgery would be happening within the next few hours. I called my sister so she could head to the Hospital. By the time Dad was moved to pre-op he was joking and seemingly doing okay. The anesthesiologist came in and introduced himself to us. He said that having emergency surgery was less than optimum for someone with my Dad’s heart conditions but it was doable. Since my Dad was on blood thinners, they would have to give him a transfusion before and after the surgery to help his blood to clot better. With the type of surgery he was having (rod and pin insertion vice hip replacement) they didn’t think there would be a lot of bleeding. That sounded like a positive.

When everyone was ready in the OR, they took my Dad back for his surgery. My sister and I kissed my Dad, wished him luck and began the process of waiting. After about 2 ½ hours, Dad’s orthopedic surgeon called and said Dad had done well. He indicated it would be a slow and difficult recovery and that my Dad would need to be patient. I thought “Dad patient? No chance of that happening.”

My sister and I continued to wait for Post-Op to call us. It seemed as though it was taking a long time for them to call and deep down I began to worry. I called Post-Op to check in and the nurse said Dad was having a tough time. His blood pressure was high but hopefully we would be able to see him shortly. After about an hour, they said one of us could see him. I was “nominated” to go and headed pack into Post-Op. I have to admit Dad did not look good at all. To me he had the coloring of someone who was not going to make it when I walked over to his bed. He was nowhere near coherent. The nurses said Dad had communicated to them after surgery. In fact he told them to leave him “the hell” alone. At least he still had some spunk. Since it scared me to see Dad looking the way he did, I  suggested to my sister she shouldn’t go back to see him.  We needed to give it some time for his body to react to the drugs they given him. Maybe by then he would be more stable.

Within a few hours, Dad was stable enough to be moved to his room. My sister and I waited until he was settled in and then left for the evening.

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Sending you love, comfort and peace!

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Remembering Dad

Remembering Dad

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It’s been one week since Dad died. Yesterday we held a Memorial in his honor. This is how we remembered him:

DAD’S EARLY YEARS

Dad was born in 1932 in Lorain, Ohio.  He was an only child.  Dad grew up in his Grandmother’s house with his many aunts and uncles acting as surrogate brothers and sisters.  Dad said there were so many of them they had to sleep three to a bed. When they got in trouble at bedtime, Dad was so skinny he could roll between the bed and the wall to escape my Great Grandmother’s spankings. Once my Great Grandmother left the room however, Dad said his uncles would make up for the spanking he didn’t get from her.

Dad attended Lorain High School where he played football, basketball and baseball. It was at Lorain High School football game where my Dad noticed my Mom. Unfortunately, Mom happened to attend the cross-town rival High School in Elyria. Dad got my Mom’s phone number and as they say the rest is history. After graduating from High School, Dad joined the United States Navy where he served as Boatswain’s Mate Second Class on the USS Roosevelt.  One of his favorite trips he always told us was going through the Panama Canal.

Dad and Mom were married in 1952.  They moved from Ohio to Key West, Florida where Dad continued his career with the Navy. Eventually Dad was transferred to Long Beach, California which became his primary state of residence for over 48 years. It’s hard to believe my Dad and Mom would have been married for 65 years this year.

DAD’S CAREER

After leaving the Navy Dad began working at Hughes Aircraft Company as a warehouse stock clerk. Dad told me while he was in the Hospital that organizing this large warehouse stock room was one of his greatest achievements. In fact, Dad so loved organizing he would arrange and re-arrange things around the house (especially in the kitchen) often frustrating my Mom who would go to look for something and it wouldn’t be there.

For over 40 years, Dad held various positions at Hughes in Corporate, Space and Communications and Radar Groups. He told us stories about seeing Howard Hughes in the hallways in Culver City. I also remember my sister and I spending hours with him at the Jet Propulsion Laboratory in Pasadena while he was supporting the Surveyor Program. Surveyor was a NASA program that sent seven robotic spacecraft to the surface of the moon. Dad was so proud when we visited the Smithsonian Institute in DC and saw the Surveyor spacecraft on display there.

Dad’s position as Intelsat IV Program Manager led our family to a four-year overseas assignment in England. There we had the opportunity to travel all over Europe. One day when we thought we were dropping Dad off at the airport for another of his business trips, he surprised all of us by taking us with him to Paris. We all got on the plane with him even though we had nothing packed. We bought toothbrushes etc. in the airport gift shop. It was a wonderful surprise. One we will never forget.

In 1994, Dad finished up his career at Hughes Corporate as the Vice President of International Marketing. As he and my Mom were driving away in the limousine Dad on his final day, Dad stood up through the moon roof and flipped off the company. Since my sister, husband and I were all still Hughes employees we figured our careers would soon be over after this parting gesture.

Dad was a fun loving, extremely hard working, active, and charitable human being. He made immediate friends with strangers, and could talk your ear off.  He loved to interact with people. We’d be at CVS or Costco and I’d turn around to see him having in depth conversations with someone in one of the aisles. Even in the Hospital Dad shared many of his stories with the Nurses, Physical and Respiratory Therapists.

Dad loved movies especially westerns and musicals. In fact, I think my sister and I were the only little girls who saw every single John Wayne movie when they came out. Yes, every single John Wayne movie. I never understood this wasn’t the norm until I was older.  Dad also introduced us to the arts. Plays, music, museums of every genre. My Mom says they probably saw Phantom of the Opera at least 5 times. Records played constantly so music always filled our house. I know all the words to every Neil Diamond song because of my Dad.

Dad loved every type of sporting event from football to golf. He watched both professional and college sports. The weekends were for sports. No if, ands or buts. His favorite teams included the Cleveland Browns, Cleveland Cavaliers, University of Oregon Ducks, Ohio State Buckeyes and of course the Los Angeles Lakers. He had season tickets for the UCLA Bruins and LA Kings for many years. Before he died he told us he was hoping the Atlanta Falcons would win the Super Bowl.  Let’s hope he is right.

Dad was very strong-willed, loved to debate and had a fighting spirit. If you ever tried to have a conversation with him about sports or politics, you learned this about him the hard way.  As an example of his fighting spirit, Dad lobbied the Los Angeles Board of Airport Commissioners to restore the holes that were seized from the Westchester Golf Course for roadway construction. Dad believed it was so important to remove the “dubious distinction” of Westchester being the only 15-hole golf course in the United States and Canada that he fought for 10 long years. Yes, 10 years. Finally, in 2010, he achieved success and the three holes were added back to the Golf Course for future generations of golfers (including his Grandson) to enjoy.

DAD’S GREATEST ACHIEVEMENT

If you asked my Dad what was his greatest achievement he would say his family. His wife: Marty; two daughters: Sharon and Diane; three grandchildren: Lauren, Cooper, and Kallyn; two sons-in-law: Ron and Bob; and his six furry grandchildren: Curlee, Smokey, Cosmo, Ozzie, Angel and Calvin. For many years, every family celebration was marked by Dad reciting an ode or poem he had written. On Father’s Day 2012 he wrote, “You start out with a lot of confidence, then they start to grow up and before you realize it, they are on their own. It’s not that I mind them growing up. It is the years in between childhood and maturity. That’s when you hope and pray you have been doing a good job. I guess on a scale of 1 to 10 I would rate myself an 8 (although their Mother would probably rate me as 5).”

Well Dad, as I stand here today before your family and friends I would have to say your loving family unanimously rates you as “10”. Thank you for always being there. Thank you for being caring and forgiving. Thank you for showing us what love is all about.

Since you couldn’t have a beer in the Hospital (and believe me he asked everyone, including the respiratory therapists to get him one), I’d like to finish up this eulogy by asking everyone to raise your make-believe glasses in a toast to Dad:

May the road rise up to meet you.

May the wind be always at your back.

May the sun shine warm upon your face;

The rains fall soft upon your fields and until we meet again,

May God hold you in the palm of His Hands.

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Sending you love, comfort and peace!

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