Tag Archives: Family

  • -
Father's Day

Father’s Day Without My Dad

Tags : 

It’s a day I’ve been dreading every year since Dad died in January 2017. This is my third Father’s Day without him. I’ve been anticipating this day for months. I can’t escape it. It’s been in my face everywhere I go. It’s just another reminder he isn’t here anymore.  To be honest, I’m tired of those reminders.

Although I know it is actually healthier to cherish this day (rather than avoid it) as a way to honor my Dad, it all depends on where someone is on their journey. Part of me wants to avoid it. I know that avoiding Father’s Day can also be healthy. Another part of me wants to go to his favorite sports bar, watch sports and drink beer. If my Sister is up for it, we will probably do the latter.

If you lost someone you loved are not sure what to do, here are a few of the ways you can approach Father’s Day (or any Holiday):

WAYS TO APPROACH FATHER’S DAY

Be Prepared. Anticipating the grief associated with these events is normal. Knowing ahead of time may be tough can help you to decide how you want to spend that day. It could be celebrating with family and friends or being alone in your grief. Being prepared will help you to honor what works best for you.

Plan a Celebration. There is nothing that says you can’t celebrate on Father’s Day. It’s perfectly okay to throw a party. It’s perfectly okay to actually have some fun in memory of your loved one. If you do, they will be there celebrating with you.

Get Out of Town. If it is too much for you to be home alone during these reminder days, plan a trip away or go visit family or friends. It is perfectly okay to not be around if being in familiar surroundings with reminders everywhere is too much to handle. Just get the heck out of dodge.

Share Memories. Consider inviting friends over so you can share memories of your loved one. Ask your friends to share their own memories. Pull out old photographs or home movies. Tell stories. Laugh until you cry. Cry until you laugh. Memories are the best way to remember your loved one. There is no better way to honor them.

Start a New Tradition. If facing your usual traditions are too difficult, start a new one. Make a donation to a charitable organization, volunteer or plant a tree in your loved one’s name.

Honor Your Grief. It’s normal to be both sad and joyful on these days. Expressing both kinds of emotions makes us human. Honor these emotions. Don’t avoid them. Worse, don’t pretend. Just feel.

No Fanfare. It’s also okay to let these days just be ordinary days. No celebration. Just another day.

So I’ve decided it is completely healthy to either acknowledge or not acknowledge Father’s Day. You have to do what is right for you.

Surround yourself with people who understand what you need – not what they think you should or shouldn’t be doing.

Let this day come and go. Even if this means choosing to do nothing.

********************************************

POEM FOR MY DAD ON FATHER’S DAY

“Special Hero” By Christina M. Kerschen

When I was a baby

you would hold me in your arms

I felt the love and tenderness

keeping me safe from harm

I would look up into your eyes

and all the love I would see

How did I get so lucky

you were the dad chosen for me

There is something special

about a father’s love

Seems it was sent to me

from someplace up above

Our love is everlasting

I just wanted you to know

That you’re my special hero

and I wanted to tell you so.

*********************************************

Sending you love, comfort and peace!


  • -
Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving, Birthdays and Grief

Tags : 

 

How are we supposed handle it when Thanksgiving, Birthdays and Grief all hit at the same time? November 25 is the birthday of my former fiancé. This year it a few days after Thanksgiving. A bittersweet day. Every 7 years his birthday would fall on Thanksgiving. It usually became a double celebration.

SPECIAL MEMORIES

One year in particular stands out to me. We drove to see the Christmas lights and garden displays at Longwood Gardens. We heard it was amazing. The word “amazing” just doesn’t do it justice. Longwood Gardens consists of over 1,077 acres of gardens, woodlands, and meadows in Kennet Square, Pennsylvania in the Brandywine Creek Valley.  It is one of the premier botanical gardens in the United States. It is the living legacy of Pierre S. du Pont, a world traveler from an early age, who was often inspired to add features to the garden after attending world’s fairs. The most notable additions being the massive conservatory, complete with a huge pipe organ and an extensive system of water fountains. Years before it was a public garden, the land on which Longwood Gardens stands was home to the native Lenni Lenape tribe and Quaker farmers. Since then, the land has undergone significant transformation to become the magnificent property that is enjoyed by more than a million guests each year.

Every year at Christmas time, more than 500,000 twinkling lights and spectacular fountain shows compose a brilliant Christmas wonderland. Visitors stroll through the ground which has lights strung on 40 miles of wire glowing in the trees. Large, starry snowflakes and icicles sparkle throughout the Gardens, while the continuously performing Theatre fountains present the colors of a Christmas rainbow. Although it was close to freezing, we walked through the Gardens in amazement.

Screen Shot 2015-11-19 at 9.28.40 AM

 

PENNSYLVANNIA COUNTRYSIDE

While in the area, we stayed at a beautiful Bed and Breakfast, Inn at Grace Winery (formerly Sweetwater Inn). Established in 1734, it is an historic 50-acre estate located in the heart of The Brandywine Valley. We were told by the owners that the cast and crew of the movie, The Village, had been staying there. The Village was a 2004 American film, written, produced, and directed by M. Night Shyamalan and starred Bryce Dallas Howard, Joaquin Phoenix, Adrien Brody, William Hurt and Sigourney Weaver. We had just missed seeing all of them by one day!  We also visited the Brandywine River Museum home of the works of American realist artist, Andrew  Wyeth and his family. His father, N.C. Wyeth was an illustrator of many children’s classics such as Treasure Island and The Last of the Mohicans. Andrew’s son, Jamie Wyeth, is a contemporary American realist painter. The museum is housed in a converted nineteenth century mill on the banks of the Brandywine Creek. Visiting the museum was a beautiful way to end a beautiful weekend. These memories will last forever.

Now when November 25 and Thanksgiving roll around, part of me just wants it to be over. Another part of me thinks back to all the wonderful times we spent together. Just like our time in Pennsylvania. Freezing as we walked through Longwood Gardens but not wanting to leave. Since he died, I still try to remember his birthday every year.  With wonderful memories like this, it isn’t hard to forget. I think it is healthy and honest.  Remembering him just seems like the right thing to do.  I just focus on all the great memories we had together.

Happy Birthday.  I haven’t forgotten you.

I know you are having a margarita (or two) in Heaven today!

*********************************************

Sending you love, comfort and peace!


  • -
Memory Bracelet

Father’s Day Memory Bracelet

Tags : 

 

A memory bracelet is wonderful way to remember your loved one on Father’s Day (or any Holiday).

Children especially love making these bracelets.

Pick bead colors that represent your loved one’s birth month, happy memories, favorite color, sports team, time of year, etc.

MATERIALS

Memory wire (bracelet size).

Colorful beads.

Thin ribbon.

Wire cutters.

Round nose pliers.

INSTRUCTIONS

Measure out the wire to fit around your wrist and add one inch.

Cut wire using wire cutters.

Use round-nose pliers to make a small loop at one end of the wire.

Thread beads onto wire, leaving one-half inch.

Fold the end of the wire into another small loop.

Thread ribbon through both holes.

Send Reiki, blessings, prayers, love, and light to the memory bracelet.

Place memory bracelet on wrist and tie ribbon.

It’s ready to wear!

*********************************************

Sending you love, comfort and peace!


Search

Survivor Radio Network Interview

Free Sample Chapter

New Book

Free Sample Chapter

Grief Diaries

Guide To Pet Loss eBook

Guide To Pet Loss eBook