Tag Archives: Be Strong

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Myths About Grief

Myths About Grief eBook (Download)

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Have You Heard These Myths About Grief?

Most of us over the course of our lifetime have heard at least one or more of the following MYTHS after the loss of a loved one:

– Time Heals All Wounds

– Grieve Alone

– Be Strong

– Don’t Feel Bad

– Replace The Loss

– Keep Busy

Society has perpetuated the use of these terms so much so that they have become part of our vernacular.

If you think about it though, are these statements really helpful when you are grieving?

In reality, these myths can keep you stuck in the pain and sorrow following a significant emotional loss.

Download the book instantly which includes information on:

– How society minimizes our grief and how to avoid receiving these messages from others.

– The illusion that we can replace the loss with certain types of grief events and how to avoid this trap.

– How we learn to isolate with our grief and how that can hurt us.

– Why “being strong” is not beneficial to you or those around you following a loss.

– How keeping busy puts us further away from the goal of moving on.

– How time alone cannot and will not heal your broken heart.

eBook Table of Contents

– Introduction: Six Major Myths about Grief

– Myth 1: Don’t Feel Bad!

– Myth 2: Replace the Loss

– Myth 3: Grieve Alone

– Myth 4: Time Heals All Wounds

– Myth 5: Be Strong for Others

– Myth 6: Keep Busy

– Find a Grief Recovery Specialist in your area

– References

https://form.jotform.com/61688371855166

 

 

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Sending you love, comfort and peace!

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Loss of a Loved One

Grief Diaries: Loss of a Loved One

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Released in December 2015, Grief Reiki® is a proud contributor to Grief Diaries: Loss of a Loved One

Part of the Grief Diaries series dedicated to offering comfort, company and hope in the aftermath of life’s challenges and losses, Grief Diaries: Loss of a Loved One is a collection of intimate and candid narrations from different writers about losses from different angles including step-parents, uncles, best friends, cousins, grandchildren, and more. In chapter one, each writer bravely penned the moment when their familiar lives disappeared along with their loved one’s last breath. The writers were then presented with intimate questions pertaining to their loss, and their responses are compiled within the individual chapters. These narrations are unabridged, as every voice is unique. But no matter the differences, the stories contained in each Grief Diaries book is a treasured reminder that none of us walk the journey alone. Welcome to the Grief Diaries village, where grief transcends all differences and unites us in the aftermath. Welcome, bereaved friend, to company, comfort and hope.

Losing someone we love is a heartbreak unlike any other experience. Because love comes in many forms, Grief Diaries: Loss of a Loved One is dedicated to sharing the stories of losing cousins, uncles, nieces, grandchildren, best friends, partners, and more. When we swap stories, it helps us to feel less alone. This book is like your own portable support group, open 24/7. It offers an intimate collection of stories by people around the world who have all walked in your shoes. Consider this book one of your bereavement tools, and pull it out whenever you need. For no matter the age, the circumstance, or number of days since your parent passed, the stories contained within this book offer company, comfort and hope, and are a treasured reminder that none of us walk this journey alone.

Reviews

“CRITICALLY IMPORTANT . . . I want to say  what you are doing is so critically important.” -DR. BERNICE A. KING, Daughter of Dr. Martin Luther King

“STUNNING . . . Grief Diaries treats the reader to a rare combination of candor and fragility through the eyes of the bereaved. Delving into the deepest recesses of the heartbroken, the reader easily identifies with the diverse collection of stories and richly colored threads of profound love that create a stunning read full of comfort and hope.” -DR. GLORIA HORSLEY, Founder & President of Open to Hope Foundation

“A MUST READ FOR ANYONE WHO HAS LOST A LOVED ONE…Grief is such a difficult topic yet the writers in this book are so unbelievably brave to tell their individual stories. Each chapter gives the reader insight into what they were thinking and feeling during such a difficult and painful time in their lives. The stories are inspirational, heartfelt and hopeful. Every person who has grieved the loss of a loved one but feels alone needs to read these stories so they don’t feel so isolated. This is a must read for anyone who has lost anyone they have loved. Thank you Grief Diaries for bringing this difficult topic as well the others in this important anthology into our homes and hearts..” AMAZON REVIEWER

Loss of a Loved One on Amazon

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Sending you love, comfort and peace!

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Urban Legends About Grief

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Most of us over the course of our lifetime have heard at least one or more of the following statements after the loss of a loved one:

  1. Time Heals All Wounds
  2. Grieve Alone
  3. Be Strong
  4. Don’t Feel Bad
  5. Replace The Loss
  6. Keep Busy

Society has perpetuated the use of these terms so much so that they have become part of our vernacular. If you think about it though, are these statements really true? In reality they should be classified as urban legends. Why urban legends? According to Merriam Webster an urban legend is “a story about an unusual event or occurrence that many people believe is true but that is not true.” This can be said about these 6 grief statements we have all heard. We have believed them to be true all these years but they are not.

Grief Recovery_Six Myths_001_2015

Let’s walk through each of them in more detail:

Time Heals All Wounds – How many of you are still grieving after losing someone 5, 10 or 20 years ago? Does it hurt any less? Do you miss that person any less? Probably not. For some, the pain may get even worse. Time definitely does not heal our pain.

Grieve Alone – We have been taught that we are not to burden others with our grief. I felt that way after the suicides of my two friends. You don’t want to bother others with your sadness so you keep it to yourself. In some cases, you reach out to others but they don’t know what to do to help you. As a result you feel lost and alone so you isolate yourself as a way of handling the grief that others can’t. Grieving alone certainly doesn’t work.

Be Strong – If you are the oldest child a family you know this one well. If something happens you have to be the strong one for your younger siblings. You have to suck it up and not show your emotions. Heaven forbid the younger ones see you crying. What sort of message does that send? Maybe they will think you are weak instead of just plain sad. Trying to be strong just gives the wrong message that you are not trying to be human.

Don’t Feel Bad – How many of us have been told as a child not to cry when something bad happened? Rather than expressing our emotions we were told to hold it in. I think many of the generations before us were never allowed to show their feelings. Men joined the military and were told to check their emotions at the door. Some children have never ever seen their parents cry. No wonder they grow into adults who can’t deal with their own emotions.

Replace The Loss – I am pretty sure that most of my generation has heard after a relationship break-up “Don’t feel bad, there are plenty of fish in the sea”. Not sure if that was supposed to make us feel better but in actuality it made it worse. What it implies though is that we not wait and grieve over the loss of the relationship but to move on right away and replace the old one with a new one. That can’t be healthy. Maybe that is why so many people have a revolving door in relationships; maybe even two at one time in case one of them doesn’t work out. No wonder there are so many divorces these days.

Keep Busy – Speaking from experience I can say I became a workaholic just so I didn’t have to think after the suicides of my two friends. Keep busy. Keep working. Don’t think about it. It’s much easier than facing your grief. In reality, it’s worse because you don’t end up facing your grief at all.

So I say to these grief urban legends – go away. Go far, far away. This isn’t how we are supposed to grieve at all. We need to stop perpetuating these ideas with ourselves and with future generations and find healthier ways to grieve.

 Below is The Grief Recovery Method® Video about “6 Dangerous Myths About Grief”:

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Sending you love, comfort and peace!

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