Missing A Loved One on Valentine’s Day

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Missing A Loved One on Valentine’s Day

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Valentine’s Day can be one of the toughest days of the year when you are grieving. It is another reminder the people you love or once loved are no longer around.  The loss could be the result of a death, break-up or divorce. Often you anticipate it weeks or even months in advance giving you a sense of dread. Although it is actually healthier for you to cherish these days as a way of honoring your loved ones than avoid them, it all depends on where you are in your journey. Sometimes avoiding Valentine’s Day can be just as healthy.

WAYS TO APPROACH VALENTINE’S DAY

Be Prepared. Anticipating the grief associated with these events is normal. Knowing ahead of time may be tough can help you to decide how you want to spend that day. It could be celebrating with family and friends or being alone in your grief. Being prepared will help you to honor what works best for you.

Plan a Celebration. There is nothing that says you can’t celebrate on Valentine’s Day. It’s perfectly okay to throw a party. It’s perfectly okay to actually have some fun in memory of your loved one. If you do, they will be there celebrating with you.

Get Out of Town. If it is too much for you to be home alone during these reminder days, plan a trip away or go visit family or friends. It is perfectly okay to not be around if being in familiar surroundings with reminders everywhere is too much to handle. Just get the heck out of town.

Share Memories. Consider inviting friends over so you can share memories of your loved one. Ask them to share their own memories. Pull out old photographs or home movies. Tell stories. Laugh until you cry. Cry until you laugh. Memories are the best way to remember your loved one. There is no better way to honor them.

Start a New Tradition. If facing your usual traditions are too difficult, start a new one. Make a donation to a charitable organization, volunteer or plant a tree in your loved one’s name on Valentine’s Day.

Honor Your Grief. It’s normal to be both sad and joyful on these days. Expressing both kinds of emotions makes us human. Honor these emotions. Don’t avoid them. Worse, don’t pretend. Just feel.

No Fanfare. It’s also okay to let these days just be ordinary days. No celebration. Just another day.

It is completely healthy to either acknowledge or not acknowledge Valentine’s Day. Do what is right for you.

Surround yourself with people who understand what you need – not what they think you should or shouldn’t be doing.

Let this days come and go. Even if this means choosing to do nothing.

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Meditation: Honoring You on Valentine’s Day

Today is Valentine’s Day.

Although I miss you terribly, I remember all the Valentine’s Days we shared together with a smile.

I remember the laughter but most importantly I remember the love.

I am celebrating you and our love today.

Even though you can’t be here with me, I know you are smiling too.

And so it is.

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Sending you love, comfort and peace!


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